Administrator
Educating a child is much like a three-legged stool, with
each leg being critical to the success of the student. The first leg is the child themselves. The student must have a desire to learn and a
willingness to put in adequate effort in study, memorization and practice to
accomplish an adequate level of learning.
There is at least an equal amount of responsibility that the child bears
for their success as a student. The old adage,
“you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink,” is certainly true
in this matter.
The second leg is that of the teacher. It is important, almost essential, that there
be someone to lead and direct an education.
Without it, the student would wander into whatever he or she felt
important and would likely miss what truly is important. Teachers are critically necessary to make
sure the things that align with truth are studied and that a broad area of
knowledge is pursued. The concept of one
who has the knowledge gained by years of preparation, study and experience overseeing
the education of a youngster is very ancient and across all cultures. It is the natural tendency of every parent to
try to impart a measure of knowledge about life in general to their child. We all prefer to learn something we don’t
know from someone who does. If someone
has more experience than we in a certain area, we look to them as somewhat of a
teacher to assist us in our growth.
The often overlooked leg of the stool is the parent of the
child. This person is critical to the
child’s education as one who helps the student understand their responsibility and
assists the teacher in making the applications of knowledge that was learned. Parents aren’t expected to teach the
details, but to be able to support what the teacher has given and encourage the
responsible response of the student.
These three legs are necessarily tied together and the “stool”
of the child’s education will topple if they are not. Sometimes, we see an adversarial relationship
develop between the child’s teacher and parent.
This only has dire consequences for the student and their progress. Invariably, this child is struggling, perhaps
even failing, mostly because the bond between the teacher and the parent is
broken. Often, the child is not held
responsible for their part in the education and all three legs fail at once.
So how do we keep these legs tied together to work for the success
of the child? What can a parent do to
support the teacher and school in its effort to educate their child? Below I have compiled a list of things that I
have seen over the years that great parents have done to support the
school. The result has been successful
students. This list is not meant to be
exhaustive or complete. There may be many
other things good parents do. Please feel
free to respond to this blog with other ideas or success stories.2. Show respect. While we may not always agree about everything there is no reason to show disrespect toward an individual that is laboring to help your child. There is too much of a mentality in our society that it is right and appropriate for a parent to defend his or her child against any one no matter if the child is right or wrong. We need to remember we are on the same side and working toward the same goal.
3. Don’t assume you have the whole or correct story from your child. As with all fallen humans, we tend to “modify” the truth that we might look more favorable in its light. This seems to be certainly true in the case of students. Particularly when a negative report is given by our student about their teacher, we must avoid the temptation to assume it is fully and completely true. Wait until you hear the other side of the story before you make conclusions and respond.
4. Realize that teachers are a wealth of information about parenting. Not only have many of them experienced parenting first hand, but they have also had close contact with a number of other parents through the school and can share good ideas, and warn of bad ones. I have had many parents seek me out for advice about things other than academics.
5. Remember teachers are imperfect and do make mistakes. Even with the best intentions, teachers will err like the rest of us. Just as we desire grace in matters such as these, so does your child’s teacher. Offer grace generously as did our Lord to all of us who are saved.
6. Life has become very hectic for parents. Please consider putting down the remote, leaving the clubs in the garage on a Saturday morning and getting rid of other distractions in your life so that you can parent your child. The one thing they need from you most is your time. As the father of three grown men, I can attest to how quickly these years pass by when they are young and most in need of my attention. There will be time later for those other things if they really are important.
7. Life has also become hectic for students. They want to be involved in many activities outside of their academics and often they get overwhelmed. While there are many wonderful things students can participate in, they need help in prioritizing what is truly important and what they need to spend their time doing. For some students, school may be all they are able to handle. A parent should not feel like they are withholding some important experience from their child if they are unable to handle karate, soccer, and basketball, piano and dance lessons on top of school work. Put the extra stuff in its proper place.
8. Simplify your child’s life. Many times our students are running constantly from one thing to another. Or they feel it is necessary to give large portions of time to socializing on their phones or computers. Look for ways to make life simpler for you and your child.
.
Make that stool as strong as it can be for the educational
success of your children!
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