Facebook Flogging

by Jennie Smith
Secondary Principal

In just the last few months, I have noticed an ugly trend on Facebook. Social media has become an acceptable way to deal with our hurts and grievances with other people. Facebook, along with other social media avenues, has become the modern-day marketplace for public floggings. I have been very grieved to see my friends, family, and even myself become the object of such public scorn.

In the time of Jesus, a sinner would be brought out to the public square, publicly scolded, and even put to death. Do you remember what Jesus did in one of these cases? Read the story again from John 8:2-11:

Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught
them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

All of us are sinners. We have done awful things that have offended and hurt others. Does that mean we deserve to have our sin exposed before all of our friends and family and even complete strangers? Jesus came to change things - to change the way we think, the way we speak, the way we act, and certainly the way we treat our fellow man. He graciously gave us a step by step plan to deal with the hurts that others cause us. Here it is directly from Matthew 18:15-20:

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

We call this the Matthew 18 Principle.  Here are the steps:
1. If someone has hurt you, go to them. Go to them privately. It may be tempting to text or email and if that is all you can do, then do it. However, a face to face talk is best. Hopefully, they will ask your forgiveness and you can be restored to each other. But if they are not willing to work it out with you, you can move onto step 2.

2. Take one or two others along with you. Allow them to help you sort it out.  Pick people of great wisdom and grace.  Be open to what faults may also be yours that may be discovered in this process.

 
3. And if they still won't listen, go to a higher authority - the church, your boss - whoever it may be that is appropriate to the situation. 

And most importantly, forgive.  Be gracious and merciful as God has been gracious and merciful to you.

Facebook is such a great tool to keep in touch with people near and far.  Use it to spread God's amazing grace and love to others.  Be a testimony of His work in your life.  Praise Him for the things He's done for you.  Use the marketplace to be a light for Christ.  Live a life that is worthy of the gospel you have received (Philippians 1:27) and encourage your friends on social media to do the same.

Be Intentional

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As I read Jennie’s blog last week, I was struck by the deep and special relationship that she and her grandmother shared. I fear that relationships such as these are becoming rarer and rarer as we go through our lives in a hurried frenzy. Unfortunately, death is what often forces us to examine our relationships and recognize the importance of taking the time to invest in people. This was never more real to me than when I lost my oldest sister in a car accident in 2001 and then my dad a few years later to heart failure. How quickly we recognize the opportunities that can be lost forever in just a few moments. We all know that life is busy. In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, we often feel forced to let things fall by the wayside just to stay afloat. Unfortunately, the casualties of our busyness are often our relationships. 

What’s interesting is that most of us fully recognize that relationships are important. Most would also firmly agree that they WANT to strengthen their relationships with people. And yet, we find ourselves saying, “We should get together sometime” over and over again without ever following through. We may fully intend to make that call to a family member, or set up a night out with the girls, but I’ve come to realize that my good intentions will never turn into action without BEING INTENTIONAL. 

How much time does it really take to send a quick text to let someone know you are thinking about them? While you are skimming your Facebook feed to keep up-to-date on the latest happenings of your friends, how often do you actually write one of them a quick message? Maybe a quick email? Believe me. I’ve heard the excuses . . . actually, I frequently make them. “I just don’t have time.” 

Really? There are 24 hours in my day and I can’t spare 1 minute of it to tell someone I care? 

Let’s face it. Hour-long conversations with each of our friends would be wonderful, but most of us can’t commit to taking that much time. That doesn’t mean that we need to give up all together though! Take baby steps—even if that means programming the calendar on your phone to remind you to contact one friend a day or even a week. I have recently found that I can have events repeat on my phone for up to 50 years! It may seem ridiculous to have to take such extreme measures, but it is being intentional. It is saying, “Relationships are important and I am going to be intentional about letting people know I care about them.” 

God did not create us to be alone. We were designed for relationship—first with Him, but also with others. I know what you may be thinking. “I am surrounded by people every day!” While this is true for most of us, I would venture to say that most of us rarely take the time to intentionally invest time in those people. What a blessing results when we do though!

The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”

 

Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

Of course you will still have relationships that will never go deeper than the surface. That’s okay.  But are you thinking of someone right now that you’ve been meaning to connect with? Do it! Send the text. Send the facebook message. Send the email. You will be glad that you did! And the person that receives it may need the encouragement more than you will ever know.