Who's #1?

by Jennie Smith
Secondary Principal

Do you worship idols?  When we think of the word idol, we often think of a little Buddha or a golden calf or maybe our mind goes to something more lighthearted like the origin of Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.  But let's get real for a moment....are there any idols in your life?

I think we can all agree that money and success can easily become idols in one's life.  But even good things, gifts God has given us, can become idols too; our family, achievements, romance can all become more important to us than God is.

Here I am about to get real with you...I've recently been convicted that in my own life peace and joy are idols.  Peace and joy?!  Aren't those God-given gifts?!  Yes, they are, but they had become the driving force in my life - those qualities had become more important to me than God himself!   So when a time of trial hit my life this last year, where peace and joy were not found in my circumstances, I was lost, because God was not #1.  When my peace and joy were absent, it felt like God was absent too.  He certainly wasn't, but because He was not sitting on the throne of my heart, I had to dig through the muck and mire to see that His hand had been there all along.

May I recommend the book Gods at War:Defeating The Idols That Battle For Your Heart by Kyle Idleman to you?  It is an eye opening book that challenges us to evaluate what might be taking the highest priority in our lives.  Idleman says "The problem is that the instant something takes the place of God, the moment it becomes an end in itself rather than something to lay at God's throne, it  becomes an idol."

The author describes our sin life like a tree.  The trunk is the idolatry we hold tightly to and the branches are the sins that manifest from that idolatry.  He states "...anything that becomes the purpose or driving force of your life probably points back to idolatry of some kind."  It's a challenging book - no matter where you are in your walk with the Lord, it will force you to evaluate what may be standing in the way of a deeper relationship with our Almighty God.

Because of all of the challenges of the last year, my husband and I decided  to renew our vows last month.  Our first wedding was huge - 250 people - invite everybody - pack the church out.  This time it was simply us, our children, and our moms.  In the quietness of the chapel, we stood before God and reaffirmed our commitment to each other.  This time, we wrote our own vows and kept them a secret from each other.  What surprised us was that we both echoed the same sentiment...we can not do this on our own - we cannot have a successful marriage in our own strength, nor can our marriage be our #1 priority.

I wrote:  "Most importantly, I promise to run after Jesus with all of my being, knowing it's only
through His power that I can be the wife and mother you need me to be."

Brent wrote:  "I promise to live first for the Lord Jesus Christ seeking Him first and then you, loving you and you alone, through the love that He has shown me, by the power and enablement of the Spirit..."

Together, we are slowly getting it.  God must be sitting on the throne of our hearts and lives to find any success or joy or peace.  I love the song "Jesus at the Center" written by Israel Houghton.  It says exactly what  my heart sings now..."Nothing else matters.  Nothing in this world will do.  Jesus you're the center.  Everything revolves around you."  I wanted to share this song with you and found this precious 4 year old singing with her church choir.  As you listen to the song, pray that God would overthrow any idols you hold dear.  Life is so much more complete with Jesus at the center of it all.

Love is a Battlefield

by Jennie Smith
Secondary Principal

I am more convinced than ever that our enemy seeks to destroy marriages and is unfortunately succeeding in many lives.  It seems that every time I look around, I hear of another marriage under attack.  I have even recently walked through a dark valley in my own marriage and am coming out the other side victorious in Jesus.  In our culture, there are so many things that tempt us to walk away, to give up, to go running.  We get distracted with our busy-ness, our children, our sin, and even our church activities.

Dr. James Dobson gives the image of marriage as two people in a row boat.  When the wind and waves come, they are thrown apart - riding the waves in the opposite directions.  To keep those boats together requires intense rowing - a lot of hard work, especially considering the rough waters.  Some lose strength - because of discouragement, because of disappointment, because of sin - and allow the waves to take them farther apart.  Others are able to struggle in their own strength, but eventually become weary and if the marriage survives they are weather-beaten and weak.  The smart ones give their row over the best Pilot and allow Him to calm the storm and lead them to safety.

This weekend I attended my cousin's wedding reception and they provided cards to give marriage advice and greetings.  I thought a long time about what to say....I've only been married for 15 years - and have had a bumpy few months - what could I possibly share that would have any value or worth?!  All of a sudden, a verse came into my head and I paraphrased the passage for them - applying it to marriage.  Here it is for all of you in a more expanded form:

If you love Jesus and if you find any benefit in your relationship with Him, if you feel any tenderness and compassion, then in your marriage, be of one spirit and mind.  Keep your eyes always on Jesus.  Do nothing out of selfish motives, but in humility, consider your spouse more significant than yourself.  Let each of you look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of your spouse.  Your attitude should be the same as Jesus, who although  He was God, did not use that to his own advantage, but He humbled himself, and served others, even to the point of sacrificing His life for the ones He loved.  You do likewise with your spouse (Philippians 2:1-7).

Isn't that really the key after all?  If both spouses take Jesus's attitude with each other, forgive as Christ has forgiven us, extend grace and mercy with each new day...if we see them as God sees them - wearing the righteousness of Christ and use that as our motivation to pour into their lives and seek to meet their need, I firmly believe that there won't be much room for our enemy to take a foothold.  With the perfect Pilot, we can navigate those rough waters that most certainly will come our way.

What is the best marriage advice you've ever received or given?  Share in the comments below or on our Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/faithchristianschool

Sacred Marriage: A Book Review

by Jennie Smith
Secondary Principal

As a young girl, I dreamed of being married.  I planned my wedding multiple times over, read through bridal magazines, and imagined the life my husband and I would one day have.  I never dreamed that marriage would be the biggest challenge I ever faced. 

My husband and I celebrated the big 15 this past March and we still have so much to learn about a successful marriage.   I thought we had it all figured out, but this past year we hit some big bumps in the road as we dealt with life changes, deaths in our families, and growing children.  So, as I was looking for intriguing reading material for my summer vacation, I came upon the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas.  It was the subtitle that really caught my attention:  "What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?"

It's an interesting premise, isn't it?  Most people look to their marriage for happiness.  But is that the ultimate goal of marriage?  If we were to answer truthfully, we would admit that our spouses don't make us happy all the time.  Some even go as far as divorcing their spouse simply because they are no longer happy.  My perspective on marriage made an about face as a result of reading Sacred Marriage - it is one I wished I would have read 15 years ago.  Here are some of the most eye-opening ideas I have taken from this book:

A Godly Marriage is Not Dependent on Romance
Romance is a relatively new premise for marriage.  Romantic love as the basis for marriage became the prevalent idea when poets like Wordsworth, Coleridge, Byron, and Keats argued that one should marry for love.  But when you look at the great marriages of the Bible, most married because of commitment and then love followed.  "Romantic love has no elasticity to it," Gary Thomas proclaims.  "It can never be stretched; it simply shatters.  Mature love, the kind demanded of a good marriage, must stretch, as the sinful human condition is such that all of us bear conflicting emotions."
This doesn't mean that romance has no place in a godly marriage; it is simply not the foundation of a godly marriage.


Marriage Contributes to Our Sanctification
I never knew how sinful I truly was until I got married.  It was shocking!  There was a person in my space who came face to face with my sin on a daily basis and reflected it back at me.  The author says it best:  "What marriage has done for me is hold up a mirror to my sin.  If forces me to face myself honestly..."  This spotlight on our own sin can motivate us to grow in grace.  The author encourages his readers to not enter into marriage to be fulfilled, or emotionally satisfied, or romantically connected, but to become more like Jesus. 

Marriage is a Constant Practice of Forgiveness
A single friend recently asked my husband and I what the key to a successful marriage is.  While my husband had his own idea, I asserted that the only way to have a successful marriage is to be willing to forgive.  We are married to a sinful being who will hurt us and will sin against us - that is a given.  We then have the opportunity to learn to forgive.  I didn't realize the impact at the time, but as part of our wedding vows, Brent and I said these words:  "I will forgive you as Christ has forgiven me."  Those words come to my mind all the time -  I promised and I have to follow through on that vow.

Marriage Requires Perseverance
This idea is nothing new, but one of my favorite passages from the book threw a new light on this.  "One of the most poetic lines in Scripture, one that I wish every husband and wife would display in a prominent place in their home, is found in verse 5 of 2 Thessalonians 3: 'May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.'"  If I rely on my own ability to love my spouse, or depend on my own ability to persevere, I will fail.   Instead, I should pray that I be directed into God's love for my spouse and Christ's perseverance.  It is only with His strength that my marriage will find success.

All Aspects of Marriage Point Us to Our Great Savior
In our marriage, we are reminded of our sin and we go to our Savior for forgiveness.
In our marriage, we are sinned against and follow the example of the Savior in forgiveness.
In our marriage, we face difficulties that cause us to go to our knees and seek our Savior's help.
In our marriage, we become more aware of God's presence as he works miracles in our families.
In our marriages, we learn truths about God, we learn the true meaning of love, we learn what it means to be a servant.  Our marriages can be the catalyst to a deeper relationship with God.

I highly recommend this book - whether you are engaged, newly married, or married for 60 years.  It has changed the way I see my marriage.  Instead of looking for opportunities to be happy in my relationship with my husband, I am looking for opportunities to become more like my Savior - to become holy, set apart for a purpose.  When I do that, I don't experience happiness - it is true joy that pervades my being.

Let's have a conversation about this.  In the comments below, would you answer my friend's question?  What is the key to a successful marriage?