Parenthood is Hard!

by Meridith Borta, Elementary Assistant Principal

and Mom to 3 energetic girls

Announcement Day

I remember the event like it was yesterday. I was newly pregnant with my 3^rd child, but my husband and I had decided to keep it a secret until I was a little farther along. The day finally arrived when I was going to announce it to the world . . . more specifically, I was going to announce it to the students at Faith Christian School (which in the realm of rumor mills is like sharing it with the world).  Not ashamed of making the big announcement by donning a clever t-shirt, I arrived to school wearing a shirt that had one word across the front—EXPECTING! That one word invoked a feeling of both panic and excitement as I thought about how my life would be vastly different with three children. At the time, I was already the mother of two energetic (we know what this word really means when used in this context) children, ages 2 ½ and 5. I could handle one more, right? I was a pro by now. . .

The Delusion

I got off work, picked up my Kindergartener from school, and headed over to pick up my two-year old from pre-school. I had some grocery shopping to do and was going to head to the nearest Walmart. It’s important to mention that I could have made the trip a little less stressful by leaving my two-year-old at preschool just a little bit longer. However, as a working mom, I miss my children so greatly during the day, and I was looking forward with great anticipation to a blissfully exciting outing. My delusion included a picture of shopping with my daughters in perfect harmony—the kids would tell me about their day, I would float from aisle to aisle peacefully gathering the few items on my list, and people would stop me all along the way telling me what well-behaved children I had (and how excited I must be to have another on the way!).

I’m sure you know what is coming. Things did not go as planned.

The Fateful Event

I was THAT mom. The one with the frazzled and frustrated look on her face. The delusion soon evaporated with the bickering, whining, and pouting that ensued. I had broken the first rule of grocery shopping with little ones: never go when the kids are tired! The new plan became “Get what you need and GET OUT FAST”. We were on the home stretch. We just needed to check out and then I would be safe in the car where no one could look at me with their judgmental glares. With the children no longer confined to the cart basket, I recognized the potential for disaster, but I was on a mission to turn the trip around. I instructed the kids to each grab the front of the cart and wait patiently. In their defense, they did just that. What I didn’t anticipate was that they would both stand up on the end of the cart at the same time. The cart, not weighed down any longer by groceries, flipped over on top of them, trapping them under it like mice in a trap. In a feeble effort to catch the cart on its way down, I sliced three of my fingers open when the cart folding mechanism opened and slammed back down on my hand. There I was, bleeding, two children screaming and pinned under a shopping cart, and all I could think about was “They ALL know I am EXPECTING another one!”   

Parents out there, please tell me that I am not the only one who has had one of those moments. Maybe your children weren’t trapped under a shopping cart, but maybe you got a call from your child’s teacher about discipline problems in class. Maybe you turned around at the zoo and your child was simply gone. Maybe you took your eyes off of them for one second and they fell and broke an arm. Maybe you and your child cannot seem to agree on anything and your home feels a battle zone. 

Parenthood is hard! What an overwhelming responsibility it can seem to be at times. How do we tackle this challenge and train up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and still keep our sanity? As a mom who continues to try to figure it out, I don’t have all the answers. However, here are some things that I have come to find as necessary and some verses that have encouraged me so far.

Pray! We need to pray daily for God’s leading and wisdom in our lives as we attempt to raise our children in Godly homes.

“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children—” Deuteronomy 4:9

Don’t compare! It is so easy to compare ourselves with other parents who always seem to have it together or compare our children with the children of others.

Don’t lose heart! Our children may go through phases that seem never-ending. During those trying times, we may have successes and failures in the way we handle our children. Remember that God’s grace is sufficient and He stands ready to forgive.

Wait on the Lord! If this is a particularly hard time in your home, be patient and be encouraged. I Peter 5:6-7 says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”  Never tire of following God’s commands for parents no matter how hard it may be.

 

“You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deuteronomy 6:7

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

I know I have a long road ahead. Those of you with children older than mine may be saying “You think it is hard now! Just wait!” Believe me. I know more challenges are coming. But I also know in whom I have believed, and trust that through it all (even the teenage years) we will be held firmly in the palm of His hand. 

Back to School!

by Jennie Smith, Secondary Assistant Principal

It's not too long now...school will be back in session!  (Are you squealing with joy or shedding some tears?)  Either way, here are a few tips to help get you and your kiddos ready for the big day.

Get Them Ready
When my first son started Kindergarten, I had no idea that a school routine could be a shock to his system.  By Wednesday of the first week of school, he was sick and missed the last half of the week!  I learned quickly that I needed to start a week or two before school to help my children adjust back to a school schedule.  You can begin by adjusting their sleeping schedule - put them to bed a little earlier and get them up a little closer to the right time.  This way their body is getting the rest they need and the first week may not be so rough.

Because I have boys, I have to get their stomachs back on school schedule too.  Instead of grazing the whole day, I set specific eating times that mimic the school schedule.  That way, they won't be distracted by the grumbling belly in those first few days of school.  Anything you can do to assist them getting back to the school routine will alleviate some issues that first week.

Get Their Stuff Ready
Back-to-School shopping can get expensive, but there are some easy ways to find the best deals. Because God calls us to be good stewards of what we are given, it is best to take advantage of sales.  I most often use pinchingyourpennies.com.  The people who run this site post sales from the weekly circulars and what coupons are available to use with those sale items.  They have a specific "Back-to-School" forum that is especially helpful this time of year.  Even if you are not an extreme coupon-er, this information is helpful and all in one place.  Here is the link for the Arizona Back-to-School forum:   http://www.pinchingyourpennies.com/forums/showthread.php?s=470dcbfb65051dcc200ccad7d9887df3&t=203012

The Krazy Coupon Lady is also very helpful.  They have a web page that is easily accessible or you could "Like" them on Facebook and get all sorts of deals directly to your news feed:  http://www.facebook.com/TheKrazyCouponLady.  They are even posting videos to YouTube telling you how to get the best deals on school supplies.

If you are not a store hopper, use the ads to create a shopping list - prices and all - and head to Walmart for price matching.  If you take just a little extra time to do some research, you can save yourself a little bit of money.

I spent only $25 on these supplies from Staples and Office Max following the advice of The Krazy Coupon Lady!

Get Yourself Ready
When you are out shopping, be sure to pick up some extra supplies for home.  You'll need pencils and paper easily accessible for homework.  Have your kids pick out their homework spot for the year and get it all prepared with supplies.  I use their pencil boxes (and any other leftover usable supplies) from last year to hold their homework supplies for the new year.

Research some fun lunchbox ideas prior to school.  Surprise your kids with something new and different. There are some ideas at Kraftfoods.com, but they also have lunch box jokes and notes in printable form.  Get a few ready and surprise your kids with the "old school" note in the lunchbox!  A joke shared at the lunch table may inspire a new friendship.  Here's the link:  http://www.kraftrecipes.com/recipes/kid-friendly/lunchbox-ideas.aspx

Be sure to attend your orientation night (sometimes called Meet the Teacher).  You will usually find a wealth of helpful information that will make the transition from summer to school a little easier.

The start of school is quickly sneaking up on us all and it is vitally important that we spend some time preparing in whatever way we can.  What kinds of things do YOU do with your kids to get them ready for the start of school?  Leave them in the comments below.

Loss, Grief, and a Measure of Hope

by Dick Buckingham, Administrator

and brother to Dan



Dan and Mr. B on Dan's wedding day

Since the last time I added to this space my oldest brother, Dan, was called home to be with the Lord suddenly and very unexpectedly.    While the days have been long and difficult, I have found God’s grace to be more than sufficient in this time.

While not an experience we consider common, death is the natural consequence of life, and it is an experience every family will face.  Sometimes you find yourself dealing with it when your kids are still young and under your watchful care.  How does a parent handle this kind of thing with their children?

Allow me to share a few thoughts, not only from my own recent experience, but also the observations I have made of families dealing with the loss of a loved one over the years.

It is OK to grieve.  We are all familiar with the shortest verse in the Bible, “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35)  This verse comes at the graveside of Jesus’ friend Lazarus, just prior to the Savior raising him from the dead.  Many have speculated as to why this emotion of Jesus was expressed.  Certainly the Life-Giver had already determined to raise Lazarus up.  Was His sadness due to the lack of belief on the part of Mary or Martha or the others present?  The scriptures are silent on the reason and just leave us with the simple statement that Jesus wept.  Jesus grieved.  He understands our emotions as He is fully like us.  

The point I would like to make from this is that it is OK to grieve.  It is OK for men to grieve.  It is OK to grieve in the presence of others.  Sometimes we feel we have to be strong for our children or others and so we do everything we can to control our grief when with them or in public and save our times of mourning to when we are alone.  Your children will likely be feeling some measure of emotional pain at the loss and they really don’t know what to do about it.  Seeing you express your grief through crying will give them the courage to express their own pain in the same way.  This is healthy and will help them to move closer to healing.

 Everyone grieves differently.  Just from my own experience with my brother this was very evident.  My dad was the rock that he has always been.  Silent, strong, wiping a tear here and there, sharing something positive or changing the subject to divert his and everyone else’s suffering.  My mom, a strongly emotional woman, buoyed by God’s grace was able to be an initial encouragement to all the family members reminding them of God’s mercy in the situation.  Her grief later was deeper, more profound, more personal.  Me? Sobbing uncontrollably almost constant in the first few hours, then unpredictably, yet less frequent, as the days wore on.  The point is, there is no one right or any wrong ways to grieve and we need to accept that about each other.  The important thing is that each one grieves.  Grieving is natural and expected.  And healing.

How do you break the news to your children when they may be too young to fully understand?  This is such a tough question and so hard to give adequate answer.  We want our little ones to maintain a measure of innocence.  We want to protect them from any kind of pain, even emotional pain.  And yet we can’t just tell them grandma went on a really, really long vacation.  I personally don’t think it is ever right to lie to your children (a topic for another blog).  But I understand the desire to want to soften the hard blow that must be dealt our children in the area of death.  My best counsel would be, no matter what words you say, be sure to have them hear and help them to understand that death is normal, it is not the end, and that there is great hope for those who trust in Jesus.  In the account of Lazarus, his sister Martha tells Jesus that she knows her brother will rise again in the last day.  Jesus responds to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.  He who believes in me will live, even though he dies” (John 11:25).  This is both a profound and comforting statement.  Encourage your child that those who love and follow Jesus will live with Him in a wonderful place of peace, far away from this world of pain and suffering. 

My brother Dan loved the Lord and was brought to this place with Jesus sooner than any of us expected.  But now that he is there, we would not wish him to return to this life of suffering and hardship and pain.  He is in the best place imaginable and we have hope and confidence that we will join him thanks to the grace of God.

Bloom

by Meridith Borta, Elementary Principal

A few years ago, I found myself in a really tough place in my life. I didn’t know what God was doing and why He had decided to put me where He had me. Nothing seemed to make sense and I didn’t know how anything good was going to come out of my circumstances. I knew God was in control and I knew that He would work all things for His purpose, but I couldn’t help but feel like I was out of place and alone in my trials.

It was during that time that I was scheduled to present a devotion to our school staff during orientation week. Ah yes, this was just the right time to unload on a fresh bunch of teachers the hardships and frustrations I was facing. Okay, obviously I wanted to avoid doing that at all costs. However, I also didn’t want to put on a happy face and pretend that everything was butterflies and rainbows. So I took a chance--I decided to be transparent and open up to the staff about what God was doing in my life, in the off-chance (I say that sarcastically) that maybe someone else in the room was going through a hard time too. Of course, I wasn’t the only one! 

Being a Christian does not mean life is going to be easy. I recently heard a pastor say, “Without test, there is no testimony.” James 1:2-4 says. "Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Thankfully, my devotion to the teachers that day and the discussion that followed was not a “woe is me” session. In preparation for my time of sharing, I came across a poem that I have come to think about quite often over the years. It really challenged the teachers that day, and time and time again God has used it to challenge me to trust Him in my circumstances.

“Bloom Where You are Planted”

Master Gardener, help me be
Content with where You’ve planted me;
You carefully place each seed you sow,
And choose the soil to make it grow,
A shady nook or sunlit plot,
A wooded glen or garden spot;
And when you send the storm and shower,
You give me strength and inner power;
All things come that You might be
Glorified, my God, in me;
And so I’ll lift my flowers high,
To cheer and bless each passerby;
And may they see within my face
The beauty of Your love and grace;
So help me, Lord, to ever be
Blooming where You planted me.

—Wm. Claire Greiner

Wow! What a sweet reminder it was that I need to be content wherever God places me. I believe we are called to more than just being content though. I felt this poem spoke loud and clear . . . Don’t just survive where you are planted . . . BLOOM!

Think of the flowers in the sidewalk. Have you ever seen them growing up through the cracks in the most unlikely places? Those flowers are blooming despite the fact they are seemingly out of place. I think of Daniel in the Bible. He found himself in some very extreme circumstances and yet, God granted him the ability not just to survive, but to thrive in the most unlikely places. A well? Slavery? Prison? How did he deal with it all? Well, Daniel had some extremely strong roots. In Daniel 1:8 we find that Daniel “purposed in his heart” that he would be faithful to God’s commands. I imagine that Daniel felt like that flower in the sidewalk at times, but we see clearly that God provided him opportunities in the midst of his circumstances to bless others and glorify God in his actions. The tests Daniel endured resulted in an amazing testimony of God’s faithfulness.

I look back at that time of my life now and can rejoice in the testimony of God’s faithfulness in my life. In whatever circumstances I find myself in, no matter how hard, dark, or lonely, I remember that God has carefully planted me there. He may plant me in the sidewalk. He may send the storms and the showers. But it is the desire of my heart to lift my flowers high and reflect God’s grace and love to those I come in contact with.

I hope that this blog has been an encouragement to you. If you are going through a tough time right now, remember to trust the Lord and know that even in those shady spots, you are always in His hand. Don’t just survive where you are planted . . . BLOOM!

Summer Fun

by Jennie Smith, Assistant Secondary Principal
and Mom to three stir-crazy boys

Ah...warm weather, the smell of chlorine, the excitement of a vacation plan...I love summer!  But for many of us summer also means cooped up kids and the high pitched whine of "I'm bored."  Most of us don't want our kids sitting in front of a TV or a video game all day.  There are many learning opportunities for your child that are easy, fun, and educational too!

• Make one day a week an outing day.  Visit a museum - there are some great children's museums and others have pre-planned children's activities in the summer.  And bonus...it's air conditioned!
• Find some educational computer games.  One of my favorite websites is http://www.mathplayground.com/.  There are many exciting and fun games there and kids don't even know they are reviewing important skills.
• Turn a card game into an easy math game.  For example, play War, but have your child add or multiply the numbers the two of you lay down.  If they are right, they get the cards, but if they are wrong, you get to add to your pile.
• My kids love mad libs and the sillier the better.  Do they know that they are reviewing adjectives, adverbs, verbs, and nouns?  Probably not...please don't tell them.
• There are many programs that reward your child for reading.  Check your local library and click on the following link for a great article on different ways your child can earn prizes for reading:  http://thekrazycouponlady.com/family/summer-scholars-kids-earn-books-and-prizes-with-reading-programs/
• Learn a new game like chess or backgammon together.  Chess is an excellent mind and strategy game that uses logic and reasoning skills.
• Take postcard stamps and your address book on vacation with you.  Let your child pick out a postcard at various stops and have them write a note to a friend or grandparent.  They are practicing handwriting, spelling, and writing.
• Make your own zoo.  Have your child research their favorite animals and draw and cut them out.  They are reading and using their fine motor skills.  Wait until Dad gets home...and then have the kids be the tour guide.
• Keep them moving - make sure they get some exercise by purchasing an inexpensive slip and slide and play human bowling.  Set up "pins" (empty two liter bottles) at the end of the slide and see how many they can knock down with their hands and body.  Don't forget the sun screen!
• Encourage your child to write, produce, and put on a play based on their favorite Bible story.  Go to the thrift store and let them pick out costumes and then invite Grandma and Grandpa over for the big show!
• Have a Scripture scavenger hunt!  Hide a post-it note with some Scripture on it and your child can only get the next clue if they read it out loud to you.  My kids would like this game even better if M & Ms were involved.  Challenge each other to memorize one a week through the whole summer.

There are many easy, simple, inexpensive ways to engage your child's mind this summer!  If you have any fun and educational ideas for kids  leave them in the comments below.  Keep on learning!