A New Kind of Mourning

by Jennie Smith
Secondary Principal


I'll admit it...I've lived a pretty charmed life.  My parents stayed together.  We weren't rich, but had everything we needed.  I went to Christian school, and I experienced very little tragedy in my youth.  I was in my 30's before I even experienced the death of a grandparent.  While I have felt the loss of friends, coworkers and extended family,  I have not had to face the deep grief of losing someone close to me until my recent past.

This year has been especially painful with the loss of my uncle, my husband's aunt, and my grandma all within a span of 9 months.  In these past few weeks, my thoughts have been swirling on the topic of grief.  I'm missing my grandma desperately.  I've never started a school year without her.  She was a great prayer warrior and she would always fervently pray for me as I started the school year.  She would pray earnestly as we took the high school kids on retreat - calling me and wanting to know which kids to pray for specifically, what messages to uphold.  She was my rock at the start of every school year and she's not here.  And my heart hurts.

I want to talk about it with the people who surround me.  But I find myself falling into the pit that so many in our culture are trapped by:  is it okay to mention your pain?  Can you talk to others about their grief?  I long to know how my family members are holding up, but I fear that just my asking may set them back or that my question may somehow increase their pain.  That seems so ridiculous, but it is the way my generation seems to approach grief.

It dawned on me that as a society we tend to treat someone who grieves in the same way we treat someone who has surgery.  When the surgery first happens, their wound is fresh in our mind.  We visit them in the hospital, we bring them food, and minister to them in a significant way.  Once their wound heals, we move on and don't think to ask how that particular area is anymore.  Once the funeral is over, it seems that we are expected to get back to work, move on, move past.  People are even afraid to ask how another is doing for fear of bringing tears or unwanted emotions.

Jen Pollock Michel in her article "Hashtags Won't Heal Us" sums it up well:  "As a culture, we tend to think of grief as healthiest when abbreviated and restrained, as seemingly quick and efficient as other aspects of our fast-forward, high-tech lives."  However, it wasn't that long ago that it was culturally dictated to wear mourning clothes for a specified length of time.  Everyone could visually see that a wound existed in the heart of a person.

So in our culture, how does one "mourn with those who mourn" as the Scriptures ask us to do (Romans 12:15)?  First, know that it is okay to ask a friend how he or she is doing.  We may have to overcome a nervous spirit, but it does mean so much that someone is thinking of your pain and cares enough to ask.  If that is too difficult, write a note - in a card or even a Facebook message - that simply says "I'm thinking of you.  I know your pain doesn't just disappear after the funeral is over.  You are on my mind and I'm here for you."

Don't be afraid to talk about the person lost.  It is good to know their life is not forgotten.  If there is some special memory you have or you appreciate something they did or said, share it with your friend. I love it when someone shares about my grandma - it reminds me that her life was meaningful and that she touched many people.

Recently a friend and I were in a deep conversation and she asked me "What would your grandma have told you?"  It made me cry - but it meant so much to have my friend bring my grandma's wisdom into our conversation.

Even though a grieving person doesn't wear mourning clothes, they still feel the pain of their loss and could use our understanding and sympathy - long after the funeral is over.  Is there someone you could reach out to today?



Michel, Jen Pollock.  "Hashtags Won't Heal Us."  Christianity Today.  April 29, 2013.

Who Am I?

by Dick Buckingham
Administrator

This is one of those life altering questions that everyone asks at one time or another. It is particularly prevalent among our youth today. Unfortunately, they look for answers to that question on Facebook, Twitter and other social media, by seeking to be accepted and “liked” by both friend and stranger. The image they have of themselves is the image that others see of them and, many times, this image is not even close to accurate. Fortunately, the Bible has much to say in answer to this question and that is what the spiritual theme at Faith Christian School is focused on this year.

Since much of what the Bible has to say about who we are is dependent upon our relationship with Christ, no Biblical discussion of who we are can be had without beginning with a frank discussion of the gospel.

Fashioned

The first and most important thing the Bible tells us is that we are fashioned by a Creator God. The scriptures are clear about this and there is no ambiguity. We were created (fashioned) in His image (Gen. 1:26). What all this means exactly is a matter of much theological debate, but there is consensus that it includes an eternal soul, a conscience of knowing good from evil, and the ability to have dominion over all the rest of creation. When God created Adam and Eve, he concluded that it was “very good” (Gen. 1:31). Man was the capstone of all that God created and he was made carefully, with intentional purpose. The Psalmist has said that his Creator fashioned him “fearfully and wonderfully” (Ps 139:14). Thus we can affirm for every human being that God has created them exactly as He desired them to be. There are no mistakes from the Creator’s hands. The abilities each one has, the characteristics that make up each individual are just exactly what God, the Creator, wants them to be. This is a very comforting and encouraging thought. So many people struggle with who they are because they think they are insufficient, lacking in some skill or ability, and long to be someone else. God created you to be you. There is nothing wrong with you as you came from the Creator’s hand and He has declared you to be not just good, but very good.

Fallen

If only we could stop at the part where God has made us fearfully and wonderfully. But we cannot because in just two chapters from the creation of man, the Bible tells us something else very important about who we are. We are fallen. Adam and Eve, in all their created glory, were put in a place where their every need would be met. God gave them one stipulation, to not eat of a particular tree in the garden. This would be a critical test, not just for Adam, but for all mankind. You see, God had established a covenant with Adam and he was to be a representative for all who were to come after him. If he was faithful to the covenant, all would receive the blessings of the covenant. If he broke the covenant, all would receive the consequences and curses of the covenant. One of the most difficult things that we have to come to grips with as human beings is that what Adam did in the garden affects all of us. We are counted as sinners as a result of what Adam did and we come into the world with a nature affected by sin so that we continue his practice in our own lives. This fallen nature affects all of creation, including the fearful and wonderful creation of man mentioned in the previous paragraph. As a result, we are enemies of God and we are at war with Him. More importantly, God is at war with us and it is a war we cannot win. This leaves us in a situation of helplessness and hopelessness. Yet God has made a way.

But before we move on to that glorious message of good news, it is important to note that the first two things I have said about who we are apply to every human being. There is no one who is given a special dispensation. All are fashioned. All are fallen. All are made by God. All are war with God. All will lose that war to a God who is over all. What the Bible says further about who we are only applies to those who have embraced the solution for the problem of our sin and its nature. Not all will claim the truth of what I am about to say and they will remain in their fallen state. This is a very somber point to grasp. Some of you are currently in this state and will remain in it unless you embrace the truth that follows. The Bible has nothing more to say about you in a positive way.

Forgiven

God in His grace, has provided a way for sinful man to deal with not only sin and its nature, but its consequence. This is nothing short of the greatest news we can ever hear! Because of God’s righteousness, He cannot simply forgive or overlook the sin of man; the penalty must be paid. That penalty is death, physical and spiritual. No one can pay that penalty for someone else unless they themselves are without sin. If they have sinned, the best they can do is to pay their own penalty. Yet God sent His own Son, who was in every regard God, and thus perfect, to pay that penalty for all who would trust Him. It is really a simple plan, yet profound. Jesus, the perfect spotless Lamb of God, was put to death on the cross so that He could assume the penalty of sin for those who belong to Him. Those who belong to Him, who hear His voice, are those who trust that what He did is sufficient to deal with the sin problem in their lives. This simple matter of trust is all that is necessary to bring a person, who at one time was at war with God, destined for destruction, to a position of peace and blessing. Instead of being enemies, God now calls believers friends and children (Jn. 15:14, I Jn 3:1).

Forever

Not only are we forgiven, but it is an eternal relationship that has begun. In 2 Cor. 5:17 we are told that “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.” There is a transformation that takes place in the life of a believer. What they once were, they no longer are. God is re-forming them into what Adam and Eve were prior to the fall. That doesn’t mean that we immediately look and act differently. Unfortunately, the effect of sin and its nature on us persists even though we are being made new. But a process has begun in us that will culminate in our being re-created in the likeness of God.

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness though our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:3-9

There is also a great sense of security in this relationship with God in that there is none who can snatch us out of His hand (Jn 10:29). The benefit of what Christ has done for the believer can never be lost or discarded.

So who are you? We know that you are fashion and fallen. That is true of every man and woman. But are you also forgiven forever? Only those who put their complete trust in the provision God has made for our sin problem can make this claim. Are you trusting Christ? Or are you trusting your good deeds and accomplishments? Or maybe your wealth and position? There is only one way to be forgiven forever. “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31).

There is much more the scriptures have to say about those who are in Christ. But we will pick some of these up in a later blog.

If you would like to speak with someone further about the message of the gospel and how it applies to you, please don’t hesitate to contact me. My email is dbuckingham@faith-christian.org.