A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Please welcome our first guest blogger,
Michelle Szymkowski, Elementary Lead Teacher

As a new bride, now having been married for approximately 51 days, 15 hours, 32 minutes, and 27 seconds… I love my husband. I mean, I really love my husband. While I am aware that he is in fact human, and that somewhere hidden behind all that cuteness is an imperfection or two, I thus far remain blissfully ignorant. Does this mean that he has maintained the first date façade? By no means. I am confident that he has been entirely himself with me. While he must have at some point done at least one thing wrong, my mind continues to draw a blank.

“Love keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:5

He has somehow cast this spell upon me since day one that allows me to see only the best in him. Although I do find it strange: why is it that his laundry always makes it to the floor, but never just 6 inches to the left where the hamper is? Must be the pull of the earth’s magnetic field towards the poles…hmm.

“Love is patient.” 1 Corinthians 13:4

Anyhow, I began to ask myself: why can’t I love others the way I love him? I could write a novel about all the ways the world has mistreated me, hurt my feelings, or just generally didn’t meet my standards, but I somehow find it adorable when Erik turns the AC in the car off for the 30th time just so he can get the extra boost to make it up the freeway off ramp. Ah, who am I kidding – that bugs me. The point is, there are a select few people in my life who certainly have not been perfect, but my love for them has never wavered. Why the discrepancy?

I believe I have discovered the difference; the difference is there are those whom I choose to love and those whom I try to love, if they earn it, and if I feel like it. Ah did you catch that? I said if they earn it. Unfortunately, I meant to say that. For the vast majority of the world, my love is conditional. I am good at loving the loveable.

“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:6-8

God doesn’t just love me when I’m loveable. He didn’t wait for me to earn His love. When I was broken, while I was His enemy, when I forgot His promises and chose to live like I knew better, the Creator of the universe chose to give His life for me. Did I deserve it? No, I deserved far worse.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23

The world teaches that what goes around comes around. If someone has wronged you then they will “get what’s comin’to ‘em”. My students deserve my patience when they respect me, but if they are misbehaving, then I no longer need to treat them with grace. I have even gone so far as to suppress my love towards those whose problems became bigger than my own. After all, it’s hard to love sinners. The world teaches an eye for an eye. But if I were treated as my sins deserved, I would receive death. Instead, God removes my sin from me and places Christ’s righteousness upon me.

“He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:10-12

Rather than asking how I can love others like I love my husband, I should be asking how I can love anyone like God loves us.

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35

“We love because He first loved us.” 1 John4:19

Michelle Szymkowski (formerly LeBlanc) has been involved in some way in the Faith family for over 15 years. She was the last of 4 LeBlancs to graduate from Faith (5 if you count her sister-in-law). Right after graduating, Michelle began to serve at Faith with the high school worship team which she had been a part of throughout her time as a student. She is now entering her 5th year as the 5th and 6th grade teacher and will also serve as the Elementary Lead Teacher beginning this upcoming school year. She received her B.S. in Family and Human Development from ASU.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-8

Reflections on Being a Father

by Dick Buckingham
Administrator

This past weekend we celebrated Father’s day, and since I am the only one of our blog contributors who is a father, it seems like I should be uniquely qualified to post something about fathers.  Almost every post on Facebook on Sunday had something to do with fathers, those who had great ones, those who had lost fathers and were missing them, those who were fatherless and left with a void they really didn’t understand.  It seems in God’s providence, He has made fathers pretty important to our lives.  Please allow me some latitude to make one more reflection on fathers.

At the end of May, I traveled with my dad back to the place where he and I were born, Willard, a rather small town in north-central Ohio.  The purpose of our going was to attend the funeral of a dear aunt who had passed on to glory.  But we both went with a desire that we do a little family research while there.   One of the places we visited was the cemetery in the nearby town of New Haven where many of our relatives were buried.  We walked through the whole cemetery visiting or discovering my grandfather’s, great grandfather’s, and great-great grandfather’s grave markers.

This is my dad at the gravestones of our grandfathers.

But the greatest thrill for both my dad and me was to discover for the first time the grave marker of my great-great-great grandfather in the old cemetery across the street that was one of the earliest in the area.  This gentleman, Ezekiel, was the first of my clan to settle in this area of Ohio in 1842.  This was during the days of the pioneers in our country, about 20 years before the Civil War and before the town of Willard even existed.  Further research at the library netted us the exact location of the original Buckingham farm that Ezekiel cleared of trees in order to grow crops for his family.  Needless to say, we were both elated at what we found out about our family roots and history.  In some small way, we felt part of a family that at some point played a significant role in the area.  Though most of these men we never knew, we envisioned them to be hard working, successful farmers, living at a time when things were much harder, yet simpler.   These fathers were important to us.

It wasn’t too long before I began to think about these men.  What kind of lives did they lead, were they men of faith, what kind of problems did they face, what kind of fathers were they to their children?  Not much of this could be gleaned from the headstones or the plot records of who owned what farm.

Some things I can assume about them:

1.      They were family men.  Each of them fathered a lot of children.  In fact, I have come to realize that my family of three sons is the smallest in the line of Buckinghams that stretches back several centuries.  Clearly, a high value was placed on family and lots of kids.  I know what you are thinking.  I get it.  I know the justifications for why a great premium was put on large families in days past, that they needed more hands to help on the farm to survive and thrive.  But is that the whole story?  I wonder if we have lost something really important and special in our culture where one and one half kids seem just about right.   The Scriptures say, “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him.  Like arrows in the hand of the warrior are sons born in ones youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.”  Psalm 127:3-5a

2.      They experienced hardships.  There is not a lot about my forefathers’ lives that can be gathered from a headstone.  However, several of them lost children at a very early age due to the harshness of pioneer life, I am sure.  I have not lost a child, but I have experienced the loss of my brother almost one year ago and my mom just a few months ago.  I know the pain I experience with these and cannot imagine what it would be like to lose a child.  It was no easier for them.  We all experience the hardships and difficulties that life gives us, and yet we carry on by God’s grace.  The grace of God is still something we must depend upon to be the kind of fathers and men we are called to be.  I don’t know how anyone can deal with the ills of this life without God in their corner.  I know I would not be able to.

3.      They were not perfect.  None of us are.  I am more aware of this today than when I was parenting three boys to manhood not so long ago.  While I still am a parent today, it was much more intensive then.  Today it is more the “as needed” type of parenting.  But when I think back at some of the highlights and lowlights of my fathering, I am humbled by how often I just plain screwed up.  Yet, in spite of me, God has graciously raised up three very fine godly men that I am pleased to call my sons.  I know that I can take only a little credit.  There were some things I did right.  If there would be one thing I would like to have a do-over on, it is being more aware of my personal failures so that I could acknowledge them before my sons.  Young fathers, hear what I am saying.

4.      They were forgiven.  I am making a broad stroke here, but I am assuming that since they had

Ezekial Buckingham's grave marker

Biblical names like Ezekiel and gave their children Biblical names that they were steeped in the Faith tradition.  Regardless of their imperfections as fathers or men, if they believed and trusted Christ, they were forgiven for their sins.  It is a faith that I have today and have passed on to my children.  It is a forgiveness that is available for you and your children.  To be certain I am clear, it is not family heritage that forgives, but the blood of Christ shed for you or me embraced by faith that saves.  Remember what is says in Exodus 20:6, “..but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.”  Is this the heritage of your family?
Going back to family roots is fun, but is better when we can learn either from their experiences or from the contemplation of their lives.  I have benefited from my looking back.  What have you learned from yours?

A Parent's Toolbox

by Jennie Smith
Secondary Assistant Principal

My husband is a tried and true car guy and he loves tools.  Our garage is lined with toolboxes full of tools of every shape and size.  Whenever there is a task to be taken care of in our home, you can be sure that he has a tool for it.  The running joke with our boys is "You can never have too many tools!"  As parents, we too have many tools at our fingertips to help us raise our kids.  There are many helpful books written to give us advice for raising our children.  The internet is an easy tool to give us quick tips and tricks, and never underestimate the power of a well-written blog article.  But sometimes we forget that the most powerful tool is Scripture. 

Listen to what the Bible says about itself:

"All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work."  2 Timothy 2:16-17 (ESV)

"For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart."  Hebrews 4:12 (ESV)

The Bible has the power to teach, correct, rebuke, train, equip, pierce, and discern.  Isn't that what we try to accomplish as parents?  It is our greatest tool, and I for one greatly under use it.

This summer we have set a character goal for our two oldest boys - we have picked out a flaw that we have noticed is hindering them and asked them to work on it this summer.  When presented with his goal, my oldest asked "How am I supposed to do that?"  My first instinct was to google it.  Then I asked, "Are there any books on my shelf that can give me tips or ideas?"  My husband and I were talking about it one night and we realized we were overlooking the most obvious answer:  the Bible. 

Together, we began to search the Scriptures and easily found many verses that would encourage our
children in their quest this summer.  We decided to surprise the boys....we picked out our favorite verses for each of them and I typed them up on the computer with some clip art that they would like.  We printed them out after the boys went to bed, and while the boys and I were out of the house, my husband put them all over their room.  And now they can store up God's word and have the "how to" for accomplishing their goals.  Because our boys have Biblical names, we even included special verses that include their names. 

Let us not forget that the Lord himself requires us to point our children to His word.  Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says "And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise" (ESV).  So, the next time you need to grab a tool to assist you in the tough task of parenting, go to the power tool section first and allow the word of God to equip both you and your children.

What is Life?

by Dick Buckingham
Administrator

Every other year, I have the challenging task of working through the difficult course of Ethics with our junior and senior students.  We approach this first from a philosophical perspective before taking specific ethical issues and trying to respond to them Biblically.  This is a challenge that I am increasingly finding more difficult.  The influence from our society and the long-term effect of evolutionary thinking has caused many to curve from truth.  Most of us move about our day to day lives using little more than a feeling as to what is right and wrong.  Indeed, God has given each of us as part of His reflected image a sense about morality.  Unfortunately, due to being marred by sin, none of us gets it right all the time and many seldom do.  As a society, we struggle with changing morals usually by taking a poll or survey and going with what the majority feels is right.  As a result, what is unacceptable now may become acceptable in the near future and often has.  There is a crisis of morals in our world and it is increasing because we aren't doing a good job of instructing our children about some basic absolute truths.

The first and most important truth that we must impress upon our children is that there is an absolute standard of ethics.  It is not one that is subject to polls or opinions, but has been carefully crafted and communicated to us by our Creator.  So often, critics insist that we cannot push our belief system upon someone who doesn't share our belief system.  While most would agree with that basic conclusion, the premise it is founded upon is faulty.  The assumption is that the ethics we say are absolute are the product of men or a religious perspective.  The reality is, they are the declaration of the Maker of us all, and His pattern given to us to function in this world.  It is true, I have no right to foist my opinions upon another and insist they must change theirs to match mine.  But it is God’s right to do so, as both Framer and Judge who will hold accountable.   We may not like what He has to say, but He has every right to say it, press it upon us, and hold us completely to its standard.

A second important truth, that needs to be impressed upon our children, is that life is a precious custodial gift bestowed upon us all by a gracious Creator and He requires us to treat it as would a caretaker, to promote it, maintain it, and treasure it no matter the cost.  So many of the issues we wrestle with in our society today have to do with the definition of life.  Questions regarding the ethics of abortion, suicide, assisted suicide, capital punishment, euthanasia, and more all hang from this one pendulum.   

In a particular year, on a test given at the end of this Ethics course, I asked my students to consider a woman who had been brain damaged due to an accident and required care for just about everything she did including being sustained with food and liquid via a feeding tube.  There was little hope of recovering any amount of significant function that would allow her to be productive.  Yet her condition was not so severe that she required extraordinary medical help to stay alive.  Other than the daily hygienic care everyone usually does for themselves, the only medical convenience was the feeding tube to provide daily sustenance.  The question I asked was, would it be Biblically acceptable to remove the feeding tube from this person to allow them to starve, dehydrate, and die.  Though we had talked about life during this course, all but one felt the Biblical thing to do was to remove the feeding tube.  Needless to say, I was shocked and dismayed.  None of them based this on any scriptural passage or example but upon what they deemed to be a definition of life.  They used arguments based on definitions that true life is only present when one is fruitful or productive.  Some assumed that life is our personal possession and that we may discard it at any time and for any reason.  Others suggested that since life with God is so much superior to this one, ending this life to enjoy that one is justified.  One even went so far as to give me Webster’s definition, as though this was the absolute answer and would settle all question.  The problem is, it doesn't matter what Webster or anyone else thinks about what life is.  The only thing that matters is what God thinks about life and how He defines it.

As soon as we begin to try to qualify what is life and what is not, we have entered a very dangerous area that

opens the door to all sorts of problems.  If life is defined on the basis of how fruitful one can be, then there are many in our society that should be “graciously” put out of their (our) misery because they can no longer or may never have been able to contribute something.  And who is to say what the level of contribution has to be in order to be determined worthy of life?  If receiving life giving sustenance from a tube is the line that we draw, then no infant in the womb deserves to live as they are sustained only by life’s original feeding tube.  Several of them felt if the person themselves had expressed a desire that they not live in such a way, then that was justification for the removal of the tube and starving them to death.  But isn’t that just suicide, and the removal of the tube assisted suicide?  So much of our society believes that life is something that is our personal possession and we are free to do with it whatever we choose.  It is a grave error when we view life is such a way.   Did we do anything to produce life in ourselves?  Did we create it?  Purchase it?  Earn it?  Then how can we claim that it is ours?  If it is not ours, then whose is it, and what is our role in handling what has been granted to us?

In Genesis 2, we see that God determined to fashion man in His own image and He breathed into man the breath of life.  Thus life belongs to God and He alone bestows it as a custodial gift upon each of us.  It is not like a gift that our parents give us which we feel free to abuse and discard as we please.  It is the most precious gift given to anything that God made and our Maker requires us to give it the highest regard and care.  Therefore He gives instructions and commands that we are to hold life in the highest regard and do everything we can to promote and maintain not only our own lives, but the lives of others.

Though I had taught my students this perspective of life from God’s Word, I was unable to persuade them to hold fast against the pressure of our world.  A Christian school teacher cannot do it alone.  A Christian pastor or youth leader cannot do it alone.  As Christian parents, we must understand the high responsibility we have to impress this upon our children.  The influence of the society around them is great and takes all our concerted effort to overcome.